Maha Mondays / Relationships

Maha Mondays: Nerves Versus Nuptials

wedding day nerves - does everyone get cold feet?
Dear Maha,
Just out of curiosity, does everyone feel nervous about getting married before they actually walk down the aisle? My weird, wacky, wonderful guy and I are suddenly planning a wedding after 7 years together – a small affair with my family and his in attendance. Neither one of us really craves the attention of a “BIG DAY” but we want to commit to each other. It’s funny, I never feel pangs of uncertainty when it’s just us living life, making plans and all. I feel committed but the idea of a wedding makes me strangely uncertain.
Dear Not A Bridezilla,What an interesting Q; your concern isn’t even about the marriage or the uber creepy concept of legally binding ourselves physically and financially to our crush until death do us part.

Primarily, sweet thing, who cares what other people feel about anything? Bottom line is that today, you are feeling a little awkward about the wedding, but not about the commitment which you have already been making every day for the last seven years.This is about you and your piece and your peace of heart – if you are feeling freakish about it, then be good with that and let it run through you. Don’t ever fight the feels you have (unless they are of a violent nature toward another human person). More than anything, it sounds like you are just not a fan of being the center of attention and on a day committed entirely to celebrating that your vagina has found her match 4EVAH! Accordingly then, my advice to you is to take a deep breath and chill out momma. Count your blessings, of which I am about to give you your first top five:

– You are literate and articulate.
– You are not above asking for help or being confused; ergo, not a bona fide know-it-all.
– You have been loved by a fella for seven years (and countless others, I have no doubt).
– Both your family and his support and are looking forward to celebrating your union.
– You have ready access to the internets and have enough good taste to be a reader of Elle Beaver.

See that? Barring being sick, or having a loved one sick and ailing, everything and every moment of your life is very seriously a blessing. And even in sickness and death, we can often find mercy if we are brave enough to do.

Now, just in case you are jittery about the “till death do us part” then my advice is also simple. Whilst always working toward that very serious committed end, try to also see this as a day-by-day situation which too many people often forget. Every day that you wake up, *choose* to recommit to your piece. Tomorrow do the same thing. And the day after that. And the day after that. Should you in ten years discover that you have spent two years being incapable of making that commitment daily with great love and light in your heart, then deal with it then. Cross that bridge when you get to it. For now, love and appreciate the celebration of you two as a team. Worry about your dress and hair and make-up and how inevitably psychotic some if not all of your family will be on that day, but most importantly – remember that you have made it  seven years far.

You are already #winning, my love.

Best of luck to you and your man; may the telling of your story always begin with “And they lived happily ever after…”

In your corner,
Maha

One thought on “Maha Mondays: Nerves Versus Nuptials

  1. Pingback: ‘Maha Monday’ | Prolific Immigrant

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