This week we received a bit of a doozy of a question, “What’s wrong with women?” because someone seems to be having a bit of trouble in the dating world. Omg whats up with girls! Right? Read on to see what our darling advice-giving goddess has to say about this – and don’t forget to submit your own question in the (completely anonymous!) box below :) Happy Monday!
Perhaps I simply need a good pep-talk. Perhaps I need a good talking to. I’ve recently decided that I want to go on dates again…with real, live women no less! It’s been over a year since I lasted made an attempt to go on a date. And before that it was probably another year or so. The reason being that I have a relatively “rich” dating history with enough stories to fill a novel or two. During my dating history the two constants have been women, and obviously me. Sometimes I feel like I’ve learned a lot, and sometimes I feel I’ve learned nothing and know less now than I did when I was 24. After such a long interlude I’ve made two attempts at dating. Neither of which has gone well. The first girl I met in a park. She was very beautiful and quirky, and was with a friend. After chatting with them for a bit I asked if they’d like to join me for dinner. They said yes. We had great dinner and conversion. I drove them home. The girl I was interested sat in the front seat and we flirted a bit and talked. We hugged good-bye and she whispered in my ear to text her. The next day I did and asked her out. We chatted and she picked a day, time, and place. I was excited. She seemed excited. The next day I texted her asking if she’d like me to pick her up or if she’d prefer to meet someplace. I never heard back from her. I know she’s alive because I saw her out a week later. The second girl I met through volunteering together. She’s kind, talented, interesting, funny and beautiful, but moving cities in a couple weeks (damn). We seemed to get along really well. We texted a bit. I asked her out. She said yes and suggested a day and place. We went out and had a good time. We texted a lot and volunteered together. She asked if I wanted to do a couple fun things with her. I said yes. I asked if she’d like me to cook her dinner and go to a fair together. She said yes. BUT now whenever I’ve asked about making those things happen, she’s vague, doesn’t follow through on what she says she’ll do. I’ve made it clear to her that I simply enjoy her company and don’t expect anything more than that (although I wouldn’t be opposed…ie. heavy petting, necking, and backseat shenanigans). Today while texting I asked her if she’d like to go out Friday and do a couple of the things we talked about, and she flat out didn’t respond. I’m confused, disappointed and kinda just ready to go back to not trying to date again after being a bad Oh-for-two after such a long break. What’s with women? Really?!
Yours respectfully and dagnamitly,
I clearly need to start hanging out in parks. Also, you have a crush on me? OMGs CALL ME!! Because backseat shenanigans are AWESOME.
Onto your Q: “What’s wrong with women? Really?”
Ain’t nothin’ wrong with us. What’s wrong is that you haven’t met the right person quite yet. It’s really that simple. In your situation, with these two women, it could be any one of a million reasons. (A small marker here that as per Girl #2, she is moving. Many people are not down with long distance romance, most especially not in the early stages when all you should be doing is wanting to heavy pet your new friend; I am one such person after a living hell last year. So her, I would say chalk it up to this and walk.) Whatever the reasons are though, really, they are actually none of your business. Your only concern here is that it doesn’t feel nice and it’s not in fact working; these are your two indications to leave things alone and look elsewhere.
All that aside however, I am sorry that she didn’t respond when you put out a strong and clear question for a date – that SUCKS. Romantic or otherwise, not only is it unfair but it’s also a generally gross move. She should have had enough manners to simply write and say she wasn’t down with the hang-out. Unfortunately, that kind of thing is difficult for many people to say, both men and women. Neither gender has the market cornered on bad manners, and many people have difficulty being direct and possibly engaging an uncomfortable situation. Why? This too, doesn’t matter. Just know that it’s in fact a reality and that every so often you will meet one such individual and it will suck. Hard.
Secondly, as per your “oh-for-two”. Are you really complaining after going on two dates and enjoying two dates and then that’s the story? BRO! I’m going on about Oh-for-seventy and I continue to go hard and strong and will do so until the day I drop dead or meet someone I hard-dig. Whichever comes first.
All you have done is gingerly placed your toes into the water, discovered that the water is a little cold and you’re suddenly “What’s wrong with women”ing yourself. Take a deep breath and take a step back. It will happen when the time is right and when you meet the right woman. Until then, keep batting. If you look over your right shoulder, I too am doing the same thing, as often as possible until I hit a home run. So basically, you are not alone.
You sound like a pretty straight-forward person and you sound like a really nice person (because volunteering? Awesome) whose heart is in the right place. Please don’t give up so quickly – to do so would be to be completely unfair to yourself.
Keep at it, Slugger!
In your (batting) corner,